Fiend or Foe?
}} Celia executes her plan to sneak by the hobgoblin guards on the mining path. Cast * Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶ * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ * Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶ * Celia (also as Darkblood Gloomgloom) ◀ ▶ * Two hobgoblin officers * Three hobgoblin swordsmen * Eight hobgoblin archers Transcript Belkar: This is the dumbest idea in a long history of dumb ideas. Haley: Says the man who lit the bandit camp on fire. Celia: Shut up and lay still, both of you. I need to get into character. Celia: Alter Self! Celia transforms into a devil with red skin, horns, bat wings, and a barbed tail. Her speech balloons turn red. Celia: There. Not bad. Celia: Though I sort of wish I could change my clothes with that spell too. Pink doesn't really match... Hobgoblin officer #1: Halt! Who goes there? Hobgoblin officer #2: Hey, I wanted to say it this time. Hobgoblin officer #1: Zip it. Celia: My name is Darkblood Gloomgloom, evil fiendish necromancer. I'm just returning home after purchasing three fresh Grade-A corpses from your marketplace, upon which I will conduct experiments far too horrible to even contemplate. Celia: This is my demon-cat familiar... uh... Mr. Scummy. Hobgoblin officer #2: What sort of experiments? Celia: I just said they were far too horrible to contemplate! Celia: Geez, pay attention. Hobgoblin officer #2: Oh, right, sorry. Hobgoblin officer #2: OK, well, you're a little clichéd, but you seem evil enough. You may pass. Celia: Great! Hobgoblin officer #1: Just a moment. If you're really a necromancer, why are you lugging your own cart instead of having a zombie do it for you? Hobgoblin officer #1: Maybe you should show us a little bit of your dark power, just so that we can be sure. Celia: My dark power? Right! Right. Celia: Because I am totally a necromancer, and not a sorcerer who didn't happen to take any necromancy spells... Celia: Um, OK... Arise dead corpse, and take on an unholy semblance of life! Arise! Beat. Nothing happens. Celia looks back at the cart anxiously. Celia: I said, "ARISE, dead halfling corpse that is right in front of me, and take on a semblance of life!" NOW! Celia hits Belkar in the face with a "smack!" Belkar: OW! Belkar: OK, OK, I'm arising already. Celia: See? Through my mastery of the forbidden arts, the dead walk again! Hobgoblin officer #1: I dunno, he doesn't really LOOK undead... Belkar sinks a dagger in the hobgoblin's face. shthunk. The hobgoblin falls to the ground, dead, "whumph!" Belkar: Anyone ELSE wanna discuss my creature type with me? Hobgoblin officer #2: No, no, I think we're all set here. Hobgoblin officer #2: Have a nice day, and thanks for the promotion. D&D Context * Alter Self is a 2nd level spell that allows the caster to change his or her form to that of another creature, though none of the new creatures abilities are gained. * Zombies are in the Undead creature type. With zero intelligence they typically do not talk, except perhaps to say, "brains." Trivia * The title is a pun on the phrase "friend or foe". Fiends, particularly the diabolical type, are nearly always foes, except perhaps to hobgoblins. * Belkar set fire to the Bandit Clan of Wooden Forest camp in #157. External Links * 538}} View the comic * 74556}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses Alter Self Category:Return to the Oracle